Monday, April 20, 2009

when I start to think too much, the words flow to the page

I’ve got a bow in my hair, a smile on my face, a hole in my heart
A cell phone that won’t ring, a tank full of gas
And no reason to go to you

All is not fair in love and war
Whoever said otherwise was never in love at all
And clearly never met you

We held each other through the coldest winter months
But with the warming weather of the changing season
Perhaps you realized that your love had changed too

And I’m trying to convince myself that I deserve better than this
But I can’t help but feel that I’ve missed my chance
Strange how you finally make sense

I always thought your charm and looks were wasted on me
Turns out they’re only wasted when you’re stupid enough to fall for it
And I fell to the floor with eyes wide open

You were something more than a drunken indiscretion
And I think from now on, I’ll take my kisses with a shot
Of something bitter that won’t allow me to count on anything

Because I can’t take, won’t take, that disengaged look in your eyes
And I won’t take the days of silence
So you can take back all the things that ever fell into my hands

All the little things I called perfections that led me to you
Now feel like a row of tiny mistakes, like ill-fated dominos
That continued through three months of me looking the other way

I can still remember the feel of your skin on my skin
Lips on my shoulder, hands on your chest
The hushed darkness of the passenger seat

And cigarette smoke may always smell a little like passion
And remind me of the taste on your teeth
I can’t even look at those little blue boxes, but I never smoke Camels anyway

And I hope you’re happy that I made this easy for you
And I hope that new girl is easier than I was
And I hope that this time around, you’re the one who gets hurt

So go ahead and wear those stupid hats of yours
And stretch out your earlobes and get another ugly tattoo
If that’s what your new girlfriend likes

Because at some point I will stop checking my phone for your call
And listening for the rumble of your Mustang on my street
At some point I will stop missing your broad shoulders and perfect mouth

It may feel like you’ve ripped my lungs from my chest
But these are wounds that will heal
Because I never gave you that kind of control over me.

my photography and writing. If you want to see more of my photos, there's a link to my flickr under "these are a few of my favorite things" ---->

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