status: I don't think I've ever hated anyone like I hate you now

"Counting down all the hours I've spent here

Drowning in all of your lies dear

I wish I could have been warned"

-The Scene Aesthetic, "The Alamo Is No Place For Dancing"

the week in review: cupcakes and heartbreak

sorry for the absence in posting, but I have had one of the worst weeks. After returning from my ten day family vacation, I returned to find that my boyfriend of almost three months was no longer quite as enamored with me as when I left.

I had traveled 13 hours on Saturday to get from North Carolina back to California, where I was having a kick-back at my house (since my parents would not return until 2 days later). My boyfriend could not even pretend to be happy to see me, showing up late with the most disengaged look in his eyes; thus, I proceeded to drink more cranberry vodkas than was probably needed. The next day he was brusque on the phone and did not come over, though he said he would. He did not call me the following day, the first time since we had met. I called and texted him, and he would not respond. So, on the following Saturday, I drove the half-hour to his house and dropped off his things that I had acquired: a ring, 3 DVDs, a shirt, and a jacket that he had purchased for me, with my nickname written on it. So, without ever speaking about it, we had broken up.

The only thing to have come out of this whole week was that my sweet and supportive cousin made cupcakes with me :) I took some photos, but blogger has been stupid and is not letting me post them; when I regain those capabilities, I plan on posting those, as well as some photos from my vacation.

I hope everyone had a better week than I did, and that a better week is in store for all of us.

once upon a time

Today I went hiking with my family to a waterfall. Near it there is a wooden platform where you can stand above the river below, and scrawled in black sharpie along a board there was this:

"I love this girl. Katy is the one I will die for"

I couldn't help but wonder if they were still together somewhere, maybe living in a tiny apartment and eating Cup O' Noodles because that's all they can afford, but it doesn't matter because they have each other and that's all they really need. Or I wondered if he actually did die for her. I wondered if perhaps neither were true; instead, the message was a fleeting sentiment, no more substantial than the water cascading over the rocks. Perhaps she had loved another boy once, and she couldn't let him go. Maybe she never felt like she was good enough for him, and day by day they grew apart. Maybe he fell in love with another girl who was prettier and never asked for much and never seemed to worry.

I wish I never had to worry.

well that was great while it lasted

"I can only be in love for the rest of my life for about two weeks."

As much as I wish I could claim that I was genius enough to come up with that, I actually stole it from a twitter post from lastnightsparty.com. It's rather appropriate at this moment because I had my first tiff with The Boy, The Boy being my boyfriend of two months, last night. Men, I swear; you can't live with 'em but you can't live without 'em. Anyways, I think we've officially passed that we've-just-met-and-I'm-totally-obsessed-with-you-and-everything-about-you-is-wonderful phase, which leaves us with... what now? Blech, whatever.

So with that, I will admit that I have started thinking about other men. Namely, Paul Newman. I truly started crying when he died. Such a loss to the acting world, not to mention how darn attractive I find him.

Anyways, I'm hanging out with The Boy tonight after work, even though I was tempted to tell him that I couldn't because I had to feed my cat. But then I realised that would be particularly cruel, so I abstained, even though my cousin kept telling me to do it. Actually, I think that might have been what tipped my off that it was a bad idea.